Mama wanted me to write an update on being more than halfway through the process of the chemotherapy, even if it isn't halfway through the time, but something happened yesterday and I needed to talk about it first.
Mama was at work and I was home with Pop-Pop when he got really sad news. I know what it's like to be sad, I lost two puppies and couldn't keep my last one because she needed more help than I could give. So I wanted Pop-Pop to know I love him and I gave him kisses and wagged my tail and cuddled. And then Mama came home and she gave Pop-Pop hugs and her eyes leaked. Mama doesn't let her eyes leak much. She calls it "the lock-jaw Olympics" when she keeps the water in. But yesterday, she couldn't keep the water in. So I gave her kisses and my belly and snuggled and tried to be funny and she laughed a little and rubbed my belly and my ears and the leaking stopped for a little while. There was a lot of talking yesterday. Talking on the phone, talking among the adults, talking to V. Mama said it was hard to not be hurting when someone you love is gone. I remember my puppies and I miss them, but I think this was someone everyone had in their lives for much longer than I had my puppies. Today Mama is taking me to Doctor Ross for the fifth round of chemo. Even at the office for my bloodwork yesterday they noticed Mama was sad. People who have big hearts don't need to see leaking eyes to know when someone is hurt. Humans don't have all the ways to communicate that dogs (and maybe cats) do, but the ones that care, figure it out. I'm thinking that maybe you should give your humans some cuddles today, or if you are a human reading this, give your other humans, or animals, or anyone you care about, extra snuggles. Every day. Because sometimes you don't have any chance to do it again and maybe you don't want to regret having not done it. Doesn't take long to give someone a snuggle. And love is an infinite resource. Spread it around liberally.
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I've gone to see Dr. Ross and company four times in the last two weeks and Mama says I'm going back tomorrow for another blood test. So that means I've had two doses of chemo and am having my third in two days. I'm doing okay. Some days are better than others. The biggest problem is I get really scared sometimes. Thunderstorms have always been bad, but now I can barely function. And I don't like being alone. Or seeing Mama leave me. Or going to parts of the yard sometimes. Mama says it's called "anxiety." So Dr. Ross gave me another medicine and Mama gives it to me with dinner and says I only have to take it until I'm not on steroids anymore. Turns out it's the same medication V takes for anxiety, Prozac. Everyone says I'll be fine. And Nana gave me a marrow bone last night after the storms so that was wonderful. Mama gave me a bath this weekend because the chemo is making me shed more than usual and I smelled bad. So now I don't smell so bad and some of the fur is off me. Then we went out of town to a BBQ that I'd gone to last year and there were lots of little children and they pet me so nicely and I love them so much. But Mama has to explain to people that I don't look at them when they aren't family, but I do love the petting, so much. But then there was a dinosaur and that was scary and I had to protect my Mama and I barked really loud and told the dinosaur I would make it extinct. Mama tried to tell me there was a person inside the dinosaur but that's even worse! IT ATE A PERSON! Anyway, today I am going to finish my marrow bone, and nap, and wait for Mama to come home and then we will take a walk and talk and I love Mama and I don't like being sick, but everyone says it will be over soon. Chemotherapy started this past Thursday, July 14th, 2016. I had gone in to see Dr. Ross and Ashley and Raina and Amy and everyone on Wednesday and they took some blood and took the stitches out of my face. Now Pop-Pop says I'm not "Angel VonZipper, the Duchess of Alexandria" anymore. But at least my face is less itchy. Everything else is healing pretty well too. Anyway, I went in on Thursday again and was so excited to see my favorite people I don't live with twice in one week! Then Dr. Ross took me into a back room and Mama stayed in the waiting room with the receptionists. That's okay, I love everyone. I was so excited to go into the back and play with my people and see the other doggies! Then they put a sharp thing in my leg for a few moments to give me the medicine and flush it through and then I got a pretty blue bandage. Dr. Ross said I'm the "best chemo patient ever!" when he brought me back out to Mama.
I was okay on Thursday. Ate my dinner and everything. But now it is Saturday and I'm really tired and thirsty and I have to pee a lot. Sometimes I'm a little queasy. But Mama gives me famatodine every day and that helps. And I get yogurt in my dinner, so I haven't had diarrhea. She's even giving me a little less benadryl so I might have some energy, but I just want to sleep. This is the first time Pop-Pop doesn't make fun of me for being "a slug." I'm sleeping in Mama's bed every night. She likes to tuck her feet right up next to me and I curl around them and we spend hours like that. Everyone says she's doing the best she can and I know she worries sometimes about the decisions she's made, but I love her and I'm trying to get healthy for both of us. People are still sharing and donating to the costs of this treatment and Mama gets really emotional over every message of hope and every dollar someone sends us. Please keep sharing. It's helping more than you know. http://gofundme.com/AngelsTumors |
AuthorAngel Heart Henry Williams is a rescued pink pibble who has gone from the streets of urban New Jersey, to the hills of horse country New Jersey. She has serious allergies and bad knees. Archives
September 2016
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